Advice Part 22- "Heavy breathers" at yoga

If you're anything like me, when you hear the word "yoga", you probably imagine blissful scenes, where your body effortlessly moves into the poses, and you find yourself adrift on an ocean of endless tranquility, with the only sounds to be heard being sonorous "oooohhhhmmmmms."

Unfortunately, the reality is likely to be VERY different if you find yourself in a class with a "heavy breather."

This particular kind of yogic animal breathes normally before and after class. However, for some inexplicable reason, they insist on DELIBERATELY breathing with MAXIMUM sound effects throughout the duration of the lesson, just to let everyone hear how "in control of their breath" they are.

My advice to young players is that if there is such an individual in your yoga class, it is STRONGLY advisable to keep as far away as possible (or change your class) if you want to experience ANY peace.

How do I know this? Read on.....

This week, I decided to head to yoga to "de-stress" one evening. I set up my mat on my favourite carpet square, lay back, and prepared to relax......

But I soon realised that this was going to be IMPOSSIBLE, as I had a "heavy breather" opposite me.

Whenever the teacher directed us to "inhale", the "heavy breather" would make a loud whooshing sound, as though they was gasping for their last breath. It was even worse on the "exhales", which were accompanied by an earsplitting "aaaaahhhhhh", that would  have put tennis grunter Monica Seles to shame.

This continued for the ENTIRE CLASS.

And with every dramatic breath, I found myself getting angrier and angrier, and closer and closer to yelling out "For goodness' sake, can't you just breathe NORMALLY? We don't want to hear you huff and puff!"

Suffice to say, I left the class feeling more stressed than when I'd arrived.....

Next time, I'm taking my ear plugs.