Advice Part 87- Why everyone needs a Top 10 Albums List (otherwise known as a pathetic excuse to publish my own)

Perhaps it's just me (and I imagine it probably is), but articles such as this immediately pique my interest. I absolutely love reading subjective lists, by apparent authorities, passionately purporting to be the definitive judgement on the best albums ever released.

I enjoy these lists so much because they invariably make me furiously angry.

"Why ON EARTH did they include THAT?! It's RUBBISH!"; "Four albums by the same artist are not allowed, surely?!" and "Look at the blatant attempt to be cool by including a punk offering amidst the detritus" were some of the reactions I had to the linked list.

Anyway. Enough sniping.

My advice to young players is that regardless of the criticism you are almost certainly bound to receive, NO person should be without a Top 10 Albums List (I sound more and more like the character from High Fidelity by the day- but don't worry, former boyfriends, I will not be revisiting "my desert island, all-time, top-five most memorable breakups").

So, without further ado, here is my own Top 10 albums list....

1) Elliott Smith. Either/Or (1997)

2) Crowded House. Temple of Low Men (1998)

3) Neil Young. Harvest (1972)

4) The Smiths. Strangeways, here we come (1987)

5) Nirvana. MTV Unplugged in New York (1994)

6) Leonard Cohen. Songs of Leonard Cohen (1967)

7) Peter Gabriel (1977)

8) U2. Achtung Baby (1991)

9) R.E.M. Automatic for the People (1992)

10) The Beatles. Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967)

To be honest, I'm not completely happy with this list. Why?

• The top nine are fine, but I'm really not sure about Sgt Pepper's. It's a good album; I wanted The Beatles there; but sometimes I feel it's a little, err, cheesy.....
• Choosing albums is different to choosing songs. I wanted to put Prince in somewhere, but I like random songs from different albums, not one single album.
• Not including the same artist more than once was DIFFICULT. But if I had, my top ten would have featured five albums by the same person.
• The albums I like the most aren't necessarily the albums I think are "technically" the best. I think OK Computer is a technically amazing record, but I don't love listening to it (sorry, but it's true)
• I wanted to justify why each album is included, but it would have taken me a whole day, so this will have to suffice. But if you're interested in hearing my ravings, always happy to oblige!
• The most recent album on my list is 15 years old. Make of this what you will.

Advice Part 86- Professions where you SHOULDN'T talk

If you're anything like me, and have spent a fair bit of time looking at job ads (quirky fact- I was once unemployed for 2.5 years!), you will notice that having a "bright and bubbly personality", "good verbal communication skills" or a "friendly and approachable manner" are often listed as key requirements for jobs.

This is all well and good for certain professions. However, my advice for young players is that if you like engaging in a bit of small talk with your clients, then being a dentist probably isn't the job for you.

Case in point.

Yesterday, I went along to the dentist for my regular check-up. I've been going to the same surgery for the last couple of years, and, like David Sedaris, I actually ENJOY my visits. (Well, most of the time....Except for when I need to virtually remortgage my apartment to pay the bill....Or when the dentist discovers that half my tooth has decayed.....).

The reason I like going is because my dentist (let's call him Neil) is VERY nice. Aged around 70, he resembles a friendly grandfather. Albeit with a drill.....

The only problem with Neil is that he likes to talk. A LOT. This would be fine and dandy if he was engaging in monologues (dramatic or otherwise). Or if he was talking to the dental assistant. But no. Neil enjoys talking to his clients, whilst he works. Consequently, this situation regularly ensues.....

• Neil (reclining the chair): So, what have you been up to lately? Have you had a nice weekend? How's work? 
• Me: Oh, not a lot. Just this and that. On the weekend, I......
• Neil (reaching for the descaler): Open wide. I'm just going to give your teeth a clean. So, you were saying....?
• Me (mouth wide open): Gurgle gurgle gurgle
• Neil (attacking my molars): Oh really? That sounds like fun! And did you enjoy that?
• Me (attempting to make my indistinct mutter sound "positive"): Gurgle gurgle
• Neil (reaching for some other instrument of torture): Now, keep that mouth open. (Avuncular chuckle) Nothing like the weekend, eh? I had a great time, too. I bought a new phone. I love it. Do you have a smart phone? What type? I should have bought one ages ago!
• Me: Gurgle gurgle.
• Neil (smiling encouragingly): Oh, you have an iPhone? Me too!

I don't know if Neil is a) just guessing correctly; or b) is bilingual in English and the dentist language of "indistinct open mouth noises", but he seems to decipher my mutterings with success a fair proportion of the time.

Nonetheless, I can't help feeling that dentistry maybe isn't the ideal job for him. Although he certainly makes it a diverting experience......