Advice Part 95- A visit to the vet

For the past four years, I have shared my apartment with my animal companion (fancy name for "cat"), Polly. Most of the time, we get along very well, but once in a while, our harmonious existence is disturbed by a visit to that most dreaded of entities.

The vet.

(The above picture in no way represents my cat's experience at the vet- that picture is the stuff of feline FANTASY)

With five such trips under my proverbial belt, I feel suitably qualified to offer some advice to young players on surviving this most monstrous of excursions. And so I have combined a list of handy hints below, which I hope will be useful if you ever have to venture to the animal doctor.

1. Surprise is the essence. Do not let your animal companion twig as to what fun you have in store for them until you are just about ready to go, and you commence your trapping attempt.
2. Don your protective gear. No piece of exposed skin is safe from the ferocious claws of the screeching banshee. I foolishly believed that my neck was out of reach, but I now have a Texas Chainsaw Massacre style scratch across my throat to show for my complacency. 
   
3. Prepare your container in advance. Polly is more than happy to stick her nose into any empty box I have lying around my apartment, but as soon as I try and put her into the dreaded cat box, she fights like a demon. From trial and error, I know that the best move is to put her in feet first.
4. Do not be fooled by the plaintive cries.Your animal companion is unlikely to be well pleased when contained in the box, and may emit pitiful cries. At VERY loud volume. Do not be tricked by this! It is a clever ruse to obtain freedom, and, should you unleash the beast, you will not be able to capture it again. 
   
5. If you don't have a car, getting your fiesty furry friend to the vet surgery is an added piece of excitement. For me, this involves carrying said shrieking feline through the main street of my suburb.
6. When walking through along the main street with your unwilling animal companion, you may receive "helpful" comments from the local denizens. Sample: "Ooh, you have a cat in the box!" (No, really? I would never have guessed. Or to use a more earthy expression, "No s*%t, Sherlock!"); "She doesn't sound very happy in there!" (Yes, I am fully aware of that, but if nosey parkers like you would mind your own business, perhaps I'd be able to get her to the vet faster and she would shut up!!!).
7. Waiting at the vet surgery to be seen can be a further feat of endurance if you are sharing the waiting room with a 54kg Newfoundland dog (which may be mistaken as a bear) and a squarking parrot.
   
8. By the time you finally get in to see the vet, both you and your animal companion are likely to be nervous wrecks and completely shellshocked. The unceremonious poking and prodding seems positively benign, considering the rigmarole involved in getting to the surgery.
9. Then the vet will produce the bill, and you will find yourself hundreds, or, more probably, thousands, of dollars poorer.

Still, at least I know that I will never be tempted to become a Crazy Cat Lady, living with multiple cats. If I have this much trouble taking one to the vet, imagine how I'd go with five!

Advice Part 94- The career abyss (and finding a ladder out)

Of late, I have been experiencing what could best be described as "a bit of a career crisis." I have realised that I am not very satisfied with my job (there's the understatement of the millennium, but as we all know, I am now keeping my posts "friendly and upbeat" to avoid being told that I need to seek "urgent professional psychiatric assistance"- sorry, couldn't resist the snide comment), and that I don't want to spend the rest of my working life (a period which is looking like extending to the age of 70) getting up every morning and hating what I do.

Ugh.

In an effort to extricate myself from this situation, and actually find something I enjoy (!!!!), I decided to seek some help. This has been a most enlightening process, but my advice to young players is that in seeking such assistance, you might end up feeling even more confused than before.....

So, who did I ask for advice in escaping the career morass? And what did they say? Thank you for inquiring. I couldn't have thought up better questions myself (gee, funny that....).

Here's the answers.....

• Professional Careers Advisor. 

Approach: Spoke to me on the phone, got me to complete a questionnaire on the internet, and then met with me in person.
Recommendation: Community psychologist, organisational psychologist, teacher, or university lecturer. Definitely not clinical psychologist.
Cost: $170. And these were his "mates' rates"

• Myers-Briggs Type Test. 

Approach: An online psychology questionnaire, which purports to ascertain your personality "type", and makes career recommendations based on that. My type is INTJ. 
Recommendation: scientist, lawyer, or "areas requiring intensive intellectual efforts, presenting intellectual challenge, and creative approach." 
Cost: Free

• Psychologist. 

Approach: Typical counselling session. I've seen the same counsellor since I was in university, so he knows me pretty well. I have a lot of time for him and his advice (other USyd PhD graduates, you probably know the counsellor I mean, as it seems that pretty much everyone at USyd went to him when doing their PhD!)
Recommendation: Not clinical psychologist, not opening a bar (I lack the "street smarts"). Maybe being an English teacher overseas.
Cost: $100

• Facebook friends poll

Approach: Asking a general question on FB about what I should do, and letting people answer
Recommendation: Counsellor or writer.
Cost: Free

• Psychic Photo Reading (No, this is not a joke!!!! The photo reader is a good friend so please don't say anything unkind :-) )

Approach: I had to take along a photo of myself as a child, and the psychic photo reader asked me a number of questions about the picture and what I was feeling
Recommendation: Writer.
Cost: Free

So, there you have it. I don't know if I'm any closer to finding my way out of the career hole, but it's certainly been an interesting experiment. 

By the way, did you know that there is actually such a job as a Professional Owl Handler?!