My advice to young players is that if your shop keeper begins to be a bit too "buddy buddy", it may be time to think about crossing to the dark side, and heading to (dare I say it?) Woolworths instead.
How do I know this? Read on.....
On Friday, as is my routine, I went to the butcher shop to buy my meat for the week. The butcher is, how do I say this politely, "quite a character", and loves nothing more than engaging in a bit of "witty" repartee with the regular customers.
Fine. Nothing wrong with that.
But, on this occassion, things took an inappropriate turn when a lady came into the shop with her three children. The butcher, figuring it was never too early to recruit new customers, promptly grinned and waved at the kids. There was a short pause, and then the boy started wailing, and grabbed onto his mother.
The butcher, realising that he'd stuffed up big time, grabbed a frankfurt from the small goods section, and waved it at the screaming child enticingly. "Look what I have for you, big boy!" he crowed. "I bet you'd like this sausage, right?"
After giving said frankfurt to the child, the butcher promptly looked at me and the mother, gave us a big wink, and said "Oh, but let's not forget the lovely ladies....I bet you'd both like to have a bite of my special sausage, wouldn't you? Come on, girls, there's enough for everyone here! Ho ho ho!"
At this, the woman and I looked at each other in absolute horror, and then muttered some excuses about not wanting his "special sausage."
My. God.
Since when did half a kilo of mince come with "bonus" sleazy come ons and double entendres? Is this a new "service" that the butcher has decided to supply?
Vegetarianism is looking more appealing by the second.
So you went to the butcher not expecting/hoping for mild sexual harassment with your meat? Your naivety is touching. Why else would a woman go there if she just buy meat at the supermarket?
ReplyDeleteI think this could help explain the large intersection of the set of lesbians and the set of vegetarians.
As Beaver has already indicated, I thought sexual innuendo was part of the job description for butchers. Radio National once had a radio documentary all about why this profession in particular has a reputation for smutty talk. We women who are stuck at home all day with children need all the thrills we can get...
ReplyDeleteBeaver- True, maybe I was a bit naive....And I think you're right- the butcher probably assumes that any (unaccompanied) woman who goes to his shop is looking for some "extra services" that the supermarket doesn't supply. Maybe he should set up some special deals- buy 1kg of mince, and get one sleazy pick up line; buy a roast and receive a FREE invitation to "tour the storeroom"; purchase more than $100 worth of meat and he'll "home deliver the goods." (Hell, I am having WAY too much fun with these innuendos....)
ReplyDelete@Funkylamb- Really? I never knew that they had this sort of reputation, although I do recall that my mum's former butcher also fancied himself as having a bit of a talent with the ladies. If you have the details of the documentary, I would love to listen!