And it's even better if you manage to find someone to rent your apartment while you are away. Bonus!
However, my advice for young players is that if you are having a near-stranger stay in your humble abode, it is prudent to make sure that you have a safe and secure place to hide your "more personal" items. Or else you run the risk of your guests doubting your sanity....
How do I know this? Read on.....
I am leaving for Spain at the end of the month, and am having a visiting academic (and her husband) stay in my place while I'm gone. So, on the weekend, I decided to do a bit of a clean up in preparation for my guests' arrival.
But as I went through my house, I realised that I have quite a lot of VERY embarrassing things hanging around that I don't want them to see, including:
- A T-shirt with a pink goblin smoking a "funny cigarette" on the front. I got this shirt in a (not so) lucky dip, and wear it when I'm cleaning the toilet.
- Two black wigs, one long and one short, which I bought for fancy dress parties.
- A special "nasal cleansing device" which my dad bought me when I was suffering from hayfever. Erm..
- And, last but not least, a collection of strawberry and chocolate ripple flavoured condoms, which I was given when a friend had an "adult piñata" at his 40th birthday party.
If my guests catch sight of my belongings, they will probably assume that my typical routine consists of me:
- inviting an "intimate friend" around;
- donning my goblin shirt;
- smoking copious amounts of "wacky baccy", followed by some "nostril cleansing";
- both of us getting dressed up in the wigs for some kinky role playing;
- and then putting the flavoured condoms to good use.
Bloody hell.
Consequently, I have decided to store these items in a locked trunk, safely out of my guests' reach. Still, at least they won't be able to accuse me of being boring.....
The fact that you didn't get rid of any of this stuff means that you know there's a good chance you'll need it at some stage.
ReplyDeleteI don't know, if I found some unexpected stuff like that, I'd probably just assume that there were acquired under unusual circumstances, without formulating any weird hypothoses.... although if I had previously formulated a weird hypothesis about you, I would probably take it as confirmatory evidence.
Hello Beaver!
ReplyDeleteYes, I am keeping these things because I know they'll be useful later on. I mean, I wear the T-shirt reasonably often around the house, and whenever I have hayfever (quite frequently), out comes the nose cleaning gadget.....
True, true, my guests may just assume that my "interesting possessions" are not a sign of true insanity, but are instead there for very good reason. Fingers crossed!