This would all be fine and dandy, apart from the fact that I don't have a car in which to carry my booty home.
But, gentle readers, I have discovered a solution to this problem.
My advice to young players is that if, like me, you lack an automobile and don't fancy online shopping/home delivery, I would STRONGLY recommend investing in a "Granny trolley." And to hell with your self-respect.
First, I should probably define my terms (spot the person who has written too many essays). By "Granny trolley", I mean one of those contraptions consisting of a large sack with wheels and a handle that are popular with elderly women (generally in former Eastern Bloc countries).
Here's a picture:
I obtained my "Granny trolley" somewhat unexpectedly, when a friend was moving overseas, and gave me hers. At first, I was slightly horrified at the prospect of walking down the main street of my suburb with such a creation. Despite the fact that the said trolley is bright red, with funky "off road" wheels and a streamlined shape, I couldn't help feeling that it was, perhaps, slightly "uncool" (yes, I know, I'm the last person who should be giving "coolness" advice, but stick with me....).
So I stowed the trolley away, and thought nothing more of it.
But then my father came to visit, and, upon seeing the trolley, was absolutely horrified. "What is THAT doing?" he exclaimed. "Surely you're not serious? You're not going out in public with one of THOSE?! Do you think you're 80 years old?!" He promptly threatened to disown me if I was ever seen with the trolley.
Needless to say, this was just the motivation I needed to start using it.
The next day, I trotted off to the shops, trying to affect an air of detached insouciance as I wheeled my red trolley along behind me. I was exceptionally embarrassed at first, but I soon realised that I actually quite LIKED it. I could buy as much as I wanted, without having to worry about carrying it all. It was easy manoeuvre. And I was able to sanctimoniously refuse the offer of plastic bags. Bonus!
I've now been using the trolley for 3 years, during which time they have become a bit of a hipster item (groan).