Advice Part 94- The career abyss (and finding a ladder out)

Of late, I have been experiencing what could best be described as "a bit of a career crisis." I have realised that I am not very satisfied with my job (there's the understatement of the millennium, but as we all know, I am now keeping my posts "friendly and upbeat" to avoid being told that I need to seek "urgent professional psychiatric assistance"- sorry, couldn't resist the snide comment), and that I don't want to spend the rest of my working life (a period which is looking like extending to the age of 70) getting up every morning and hating what I do.

Ugh.

In an effort to extricate myself from this situation, and actually find something I enjoy (!!!!), I decided to seek some help. This has been a most enlightening process, but my advice to young players is that in seeking such assistance, you might end up feeling even more confused than before.....

So, who did I ask for advice in escaping the career morass? And what did they say? Thank you for inquiring. I couldn't have thought up better questions myself (gee, funny that....).

Here's the answers.....

• Professional Careers Advisor. 

Approach: Spoke to me on the phone, got me to complete a questionnaire on the internet, and then met with me in person.
Recommendation: Community psychologist, organisational psychologist, teacher, or university lecturer. Definitely not clinical psychologist.
Cost: $170. And these were his "mates' rates"

• Myers-Briggs Type Test. 

Approach: An online psychology questionnaire, which purports to ascertain your personality "type", and makes career recommendations based on that. My type is INTJ. 
Recommendation: scientist, lawyer, or "areas requiring intensive intellectual efforts, presenting intellectual challenge, and creative approach." 
Cost: Free

• Psychologist. 

Approach: Typical counselling session. I've seen the same counsellor since I was in university, so he knows me pretty well. I have a lot of time for him and his advice (other USyd PhD graduates, you probably know the counsellor I mean, as it seems that pretty much everyone at USyd went to him when doing their PhD!)
Recommendation: Not clinical psychologist, not opening a bar (I lack the "street smarts"). Maybe being an English teacher overseas.
Cost: $100

• Facebook friends poll

Approach: Asking a general question on FB about what I should do, and letting people answer
Recommendation: Counsellor or writer.
Cost: Free

• Psychic Photo Reading (No, this is not a joke!!!! The photo reader is a good friend so please don't say anything unkind :-) )

Approach: I had to take along a photo of myself as a child, and the psychic photo reader asked me a number of questions about the picture and what I was feeling
Recommendation: Writer.
Cost: Free

So, there you have it. I don't know if I'm any closer to finding my way out of the career hole, but it's certainly been an interesting experiment. 

By the way, did you know that there is actually such a job as a Professional Owl Handler?!

Advice Part 67- Dating Disasters Part 4 (the original Dating Disaster)

I realised today that I haven't written a "Dating Disasters" themed blog for a while. And why may that be?

• Because I am no longer single? Ha ha. Funny. VERY funny.
• Because I am now so well-versed in avoiding dating disasters that every date I go on is a rip-roaring success? No. Please try again.

The answer is that I don't have any new dating disaster stories to impart because I, umm, haven't been on ANY dates (good, bad or indifferent) for at least 6 months.

I think we'll let that one go through to the proverbial keeper without comment.

But my advice to young players is that starting at the very beginning (which is, as The Sound of Music would tell us, "a very good place to start") can sometimes provide you with valuable insights about what is happening at the moment.

How do I know this? Read on.....

I had what could best be described as a somewhat delayed adolescence. In fact, it wasn't until I was (wait for it) 23 YEARS OLD that I first went on what could be described as a "date " (and those inverted commas are more important than you may think.....).

Dear god, this is SO SAD.

Anyway. Leaving that aside, my "first date" was one of those "is it or isn't it?" situations which seem to have plagued me EVER SINCE. To give a bit of background, I met the object of my ill-considered affections at uni, and, after some heavy-duty emailing, he suggested we "meet up for a coffee." Which turned into dinner and drinks.

All went well. Or so I thought, given my distinct lack of dating experience. Conversation was easy, there was some mild flirtation, discussion about single status, and the date lasted for 5 hours.

And when I got home and checked my email, I was delighted to find a message from the man in question, saying he had had a fantastic evening, was thinking of me in the car on the way home, and wanted to "catch up again really soon."

I took this as a good sign.

BUT (and there's ALWAYS a "but....").....

The next morning, another email arrived in my box. Written in the cold light of day, my previously ardent suitor "wanted to clarify what (I) thought last night was." He believed it was "a friendly meeting, not a date", and "didn't want (me) to get the wrong impression from (his) very friendly behaviour."

What the HELL?!


I wish I could say that I am now a maestro at avoiding such ambiguous situations. But, unfortunately, I am still absolutely RUBBISH at this sort of stuff. And I wouldn't mind betting that I'll still be engaging in such "friendly meetings" when I'm well into my 80s.

Advice Part 35- Dating Disasters (Episode 3)

Last week's "Find me a date" post was a bit random....But I'm pleased to say that it did have the desired effect of raising interesting dating possibilities. And that, after all, was the aim!

But let's not forget that the "Find me a date"- a-thon was prompted by a particularly negative incident on the so called dating merry-go-round (or "not so merry-go-round", in this case)

Still, I think I can offer some advice from this latest dating disaster, namely, if you are going to date MULTIPLE people at once (which I DO NOT recommend), it is generally prudent to take ALL STEPS not to get caught out....

So, here we go....

On Boxing Day, Hispano-phile that I am, I decided to wander down to Circular Quay to watch the new Almodóvar film. After watching said movie, I headed back to the train station.

I was idly glancing around (as you do), when I noticed a familiar looking bag go past. "Gee, that looks like Mr X's bag" I mused to myself (Mr X being the "gentleman" I had "being seeing" for the past month or so, and who had told me he was "busy" doing "family things" over the Christmas period (this sentence must set some sort of record for the most sets of inverted commas.....)).

Then I took a closer look: "Gee, that IS Mr X!"

I took an even closer look: "He's with a woman. Interesting. Maybe it's his sister?" (naïve, yes)

I took my closest look ever: "Oh, he's PUTTING HIS ARM AROUND THE WOMAN'S WAIST!!!! It's NOT his sister."

Classy.

I was (how do I say this politely?) ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS! So I promptly sent Mr X a message, saying that I had seen him at Circular Quay with another woman, and that I didn't want to hear from him again.

Needless to say, I haven't. But I can REALLY recommend the Almodóvar film. And that, at least, is something.

Advice Part 7- Dating disasters (Episode 1)

Bad dates. Where to start?

I'm sure everyone has been on a few in their time. Or is it just me?

My advice for young players is that if you are picking up "warning signs" that your date may not be going all that well, it's best to cut your losses, and conclude said meeting ASAP.

Preferably whilst you still have SOME self-respect left.

My worst ever date (so far!) was with a guy I met at a costume party. I gave him my number at the end of the night, and he contacted me 2 days later, suggesting we meet up for a drink.

Promising. VERY promising.

But I ignored

• Warning Sign 1- his disclosure that "he had a lot on his plate and his mind at the moment" AND
• Warning Sign 2- the fact that I didn't even recognise him at the pub, because he wasn't in fancy dress (yes, it gets worse than this, though.....) AND
• Warning Sign 3- his disclosure that his mum had been married five times (although I guess the fact that she hadn't exceeded Elizabeth Taylor's tally was one thing in her favour....)

But I DID pick up

• Warning Sign 4 (although this wasn't a warning sign, so much as an emergency alert)- his declaration that he was "actually seeing someone at the moment", but not to worry, as he wanted to invite me to be his OFFICIAL BACK-UP OPTION.

My. God.

And, to make matters worse, he thought I may be SERIOUSLY tempted to be his " official second choice" girlfriend (I wonder if he had a few "unofficial" back-ups, too?).

The date ended soon after. VERY soon after.