My advice to young players is that if your shop keeper begins to be a bit too "buddy buddy", it may be time to think about crossing to the dark side, and heading to (dare I say it?) Woolworths instead.
How do I know this? Read on.....
On Friday, as is my routine, I went to the butcher shop to buy my meat for the week. The butcher is, how do I say this politely, "quite a character", and loves nothing more than engaging in a bit of "witty" repartee with the regular customers.
Fine. Nothing wrong with that.
But, on this occassion, things took an inappropriate turn when a lady came into the shop with her three children. The butcher, figuring it was never too early to recruit new customers, promptly grinned and waved at the kids. There was a short pause, and then the boy started wailing, and grabbed onto his mother.
The butcher, realising that he'd stuffed up big time, grabbed a frankfurt from the small goods section, and waved it at the screaming child enticingly. "Look what I have for you, big boy!" he crowed. "I bet you'd like this sausage, right?"
After giving said frankfurt to the child, the butcher promptly looked at me and the mother, gave us a big wink, and said "Oh, but let's not forget the lovely ladies....I bet you'd both like to have a bite of my special sausage, wouldn't you? Come on, girls, there's enough for everyone here! Ho ho ho!"
At this, the woman and I looked at each other in absolute horror, and then muttered some excuses about not wanting his "special sausage."
My. God.
Since when did half a kilo of mince come with "bonus" sleazy come ons and double entendres? Is this a new "service" that the butcher has decided to supply?
Vegetarianism is looking more appealing by the second.
