Pah.
Whilst some of you may welcome the arrival of summer, for me, it tends to be greeted with considerable distaste, because suddenly one of the most popular topics of conversation is the beach.
And I LOATHE the beach. With a PASSION.
My advice for young players is that if, like me, you have a supreme aversion to the beach, and the mention of the word "Bondi" sends a cold, unpleasant shiver up your spine, it is best to exercise caution when airing this opinion, unless you wish to be viewed as being "somewhat eccentric."
So, you may be saying, it's all well and good that you don't like the beach (interesting bonus fact- the second phrase I learnt in Spanish, after "My name is...." was "No, I don't like the beach AT ALL). But WHY?
Well, here's a short list of some of the things I loathe....
- The sun. If, like me, you are somewhat fair, sitting out in the sun in the middle of the day tends to have VERY bad consequences. Such as sunburn so painful that you can't sit or lie down for a week. Even if you have used....
- Suncream. As well as having limited efficacy, suncream makes my skin greasy and leads to an inevitable break out of pimples (yet another part of my teenage years that I would rather not revisit). And, of course, it serves as a glue for.....
- Sand. Which has a tendency to deposit itself in the most inconvenient places. Such as inside your bag. And shoes. And, invariably, the crotch of your.....
- Swimsuit. Now this is my idea of HORROR. OK, so I'm not exactly high in body confidence, but I can think of few things worse than running around in a swimming costume. And people do this for PLEASURE?! Are they MAD?! Still, you can avoid displaying your (not so) "bangin' bikini body" by.....
- Swimming. Yet whilst the water may provide a convenient camouflage for the modest, you also run the risk of being caught in a rip, stung by bluebottles, eaten by sharks, washed out to sea.....the list goes on.
Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't understand how anyone could actually ENJOY such an excursion.
All I can say is, give me a cold climate any day of the week.
Don't stress about it. Last time I went to bondi, I went for a swim then got changed back into my hawaiian shirt and baggy pants and walked along campbell parade and saw it was full of people wearing black and drinking coffee (and not a single other hawaiian shirt). So I don't think you have much to be afraid of.
ReplyDeleteHello Beaver! Hmm, interesting. I don't think I'd be opposed to sitting around on Campbell Parade clad in my typical black garb and drinking coffee :-) I would even be prepared to splash out and get an ice-cream, although that is a bit "beachy" for me. Glad you're proud enough to don your Hawaiian shirt with aplomb!
ReplyDeleteDon't go to Bondi! I love the beach, but the mere mention of the word "Bondi" still sends a chill up my spine. I am thinking that you may in fact find somewhere like one of the harbour beaches, replete with shady parklands, more enjoyable. That way instead of sunning yourself in a bikini, you could lounge on a picnic blanket in a large caftan (in black if you like) and very large hat. Much more stylish.
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